This Spring, I was honoured to have been asked to speak at two different conference churches. Below is what I got thinking and talking about. Enjoy!
Every
generous act of giving, with every perfect gift, is from above, coming down
from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to
change. In fulfillment of his own purpose he gave us birth by the word of
truth, so that we would become a kind of first fruits of his creatures. (James
1:17-18)
Once
I heard this short joke: A man calls on God to talk, saying, “God, we
don’t need you anymore. Humans have learned and mastered creation”. God says,
“Let’s see this then”. The man says “Well, first we take some dirt…”, and God
interrupts him, saying, “Wait. If you’re going to create life without me,
you’ve got to use your own dirt!”.
I
think the reason this has stuck with me is lying in James 1:17-18: Every
perfect gift is from above. And while we learn this when we’re young, we may not
think seriously about this outside of the evolution vs. creation debate. And
while this debate is an important question to ask oneself, I think it’s missing
the point… at least when referencing James 1.
This
verse causes me to feel that tension. The thought of God giving us perfect
gifts is appetizing! But it also implies a great deal of responsibility for our
actions on Earth. To think that every Perfect gift comes from above, it causes
me to think of what my creations have been, and how close to perfection, my
gifts and talents can be.
I’ve
always loved the word “perfect”. I spent a lot of my childhood trying to please others and, as a child, it is very
difficult to understand anything in between right and wrong. Though I was
taught to be thoughtful and critical, I couldn’t grasp the idea that something
–an action, theory, or way- could fit into a category other than “right” or
“wrong”, “good” or “bad”. And it’s been a struggle to undo this way of
thinking. In my experience, I’m not the only person -or the only Mennonite- to
struggle with this kind of strong conscience.
As
I began my degree at Canadian Mennonite University, I was told that I was going
in to find some answers, but would leave with more questions. When I was told
this, I don’t believe I understood it completely. I believed I was receiving strictly
education. And I was. But now I see education as contagious. Once you come to
an answer, to one question, another 5 questions don’t seem impossible to solve
anymore, and exploration begins! And so, though I explored many questions I had
about life and theology, I found that not many of these answers could fit into
the categories of “right” or “wrong”, “good” or “bad”. The answers, my answers,
fit somewhere in between. And my answers were different from other’s. I
learned that we were living in that in between. Between right and wrong, good
and bad. And I began to make connections between living between right and
wrong, and living in a kingdom that is here, but not yet full. Some parts of the
kingdom of heaven are here: they are right and good. But this world is still so
broken.
And
this is where James 1:17-18 comes in. Every generous act of giving, every
perfect gift, comes from above. This must be the part of the kingdom that is
here on earth. This is where the child in me –the one that loves to find
perfection- is in awe. In awe of God’s perfect creation. But because the
kingdom is not yet full, it is sometimes hard to see these generous acts and
perfect gifts. And God does not work in the way we expect… Let’s not forget
we’re human, broken in sin, and what we create, even in our imagination, cannot
be perfect. We cannot imagine, or create, perfection. We can only see perfection in
God’s creation.
It
is part of what I love about my work at Shekinah. Not to mention that Shekinah
is the Hebrew word for “Glory and Presence of God”, a fitting name for a place
where I’ve heard countless times it’s a little piece of heaven on earth. At
camp, I see these perfect gifts all around. It’s easy here to see God’s
creation, whether it be the obvious nature all around, or the friendships and
relationships that are formed, or how camp tends to bring out the best in
people.
The
nature at Shekinah, I always find to be refreshing for the soul. Not only in
what it can scientifically do for our bodies, but for what it teaches our mind.
When we learn about biology, and how nature can sustain itself –and not just
individual plants, but all ecosystems and all of the natural earth- we see
perfection. Nature is perfect. It is made of numerous, self-sustaining and life
giving systems. And although I recognize the debate between creation and
evolution, I’ve grown accustomed to living in the in between, and come to my
own answer for the questions: I believe that nature is too perfect to be random;
it is too perfect to be from this world. Rather, I believe it was created and
designed by our maker. And it is too perfect to be simply a gift for humanity.
I believe God created our natural world, knowing that of our curiosity to
learn; knowing that we would study nature and call it our own. And so God made
it interesting for us. God made creation something we could study and
understand; something that makes sense to humankind.
The
friendships at camp: they form so quickly and look as though you’re putting
together two pieces of a puzzle. But in reality, we are just two of God’s
creations who interact with one another, and give light to God’s invisible
creation: relationships. And these relationships are indeed a generous act of
giving and, in that, perfect gift from above. Humankind is a relational kind.
We need interaction. And true friendships are generous acts of giving. Giving
part of yourself and your strengths to another creature. And because humans are
broken, it is also important that we give each other our struggles and
imperfections, and share in them. By no means will any friendship be completely
perfect, because we are broken and we cannot create perfection. But the gift of
friendship, that is from God.
Which
leads to us as creatures. I said earlier that camp can bring out the best in
each of us. I believe that simply being near to God’s perfect creation will
help bring out the part of us that is what God intended us to be: Created in
Gods image. The first fruits of God’s creation.
At
camp, I have the privilege of encouraging individuals to be proud of
themselves, of who they are naturally, just how God created them to be. Over
the past number of years, I’ve compiled a list of reasons why I work at camp.
And this has been the clearest to me. And saying that I encourage others to be
proud, may appear to be too forceful, especially for some good humble Mennonites,
but that is where living in the in between revisits. When we become proud of
ourselves, it is not a complete pride, in that we take credit for ourselves.
It’s the kind of pride we find when we’ve created something beautiful.
Something that is in the image of what our creator can do. Something that is a
gift FOR above… an effort to replicate the love we are given by our creator,
for our creator. We are proud of who we were created to be, and we cannot have
that pride without gratefulness to God. And as we recognize ourselves as
creatures, we must remember that we are still creatures in a broken, sinful
place. We too are broken and sinful. We make mistakes, and we struggle with
certain parts of our lives. Some of us struggle with pride, some with greed,
some with self-doubt. We all struggle in life. And we cannot be rid of those
struggles, at least not in this life. We live in a world in between human made
creation and God made creation; A kingdom of heaven that is here, but not yet
full. And we live in a body that is created, but not perfect. We are born into
a space that is in between; a space that is not “right” or “wrong”, “good” or
“bad”, “black” or “white”. We’re born into a world filled with colors. And how
fitting that God gives us a rainbow in remembrance that God is never changing
and will never leave us. And so, let us take pride in and be grateful for the
creation our God has given us. Thanks be to The Father of Lights, with whom
there is no variation or shadow due to change. Amen.
-Katie
